Cloud

So this one might get a bit personal. Content warning for some discussion of ableism in the horror genre, which I am far from the first person to discuss, but I did want to get out my thoughts on my own personal relationship to it.

I don't talk about it much, but I have developed some mysterious neurological issues (that are NOT life-threatening, I've talked to a doctor about it and I am not in danger). I won't go into too much detail, but the most notable part is that it causes me to temporarily lose the ability to willingly move part of my body, among other things. And, well... it's caused me to notice just how many "monsters" in horror rely on the imagery of neuro problems to make them "scary". A stumbling/shuffling gait, twitching/spasms, an immobile/drooping face, slurred/monotone speech... you get the point. All well and good for an able-bodied, neurotypical audience. But all of a sudden when you have these traits, whether from neurodivergence or some neurological medical condition, you see these monsters and go, "Oh, I do that. Oh, my friend does that."

Now don't get me wrong. Neurological problems can be incredibly scary. When I had my first couple episodes I was terrified. I remember thinking to myself, "Oh, I now completely understand why the idea of supernatural possession keeps coming up throughout history, because if I didn't know what I do about the nervous system, I'd think there's something trying to take over my body". And I'm one of the lucky ones. My condition, whatever it is, doesn't affect my cognition and doesn't seem to be progressive.

But at the same time... this is just life, for me, and for so many other people. And it kind of stings to see the signifiers of the real problems that we have, that make our lives harder, be used to signal to the audience that "This creature is dangerous". That the scariest thing about this seems to be how it looks to other people.

Anyway, let's talk about Bloodborne.

Bloodborne is a horror game, and while it is very much not immune to the ableism that plagues the genre, it does make some very notable steps forward. For example: there's a character you meet pretty early on named Gehrman, who has an amputated leg (with a simple wooden prosthetic) and uses a wheelchair. At the very end of the game, he stands up for an interaction with the player character. A lot of people seem to have been shocked by this, because apparently a lot of people seem to not realize that a wheelchair is not just useful for people who have been paralyzed. A person like Gehrman, who is a combat veteran and lost a leg, probably finds it very uncomfortable and/or tiring to stand and walk for long periods of time, even if he is physically capable of doing so. A wheelchair is a very reasonable choice in such a situation!

The character I really want to talk about, though, is Saint Adeline.

Saint Adeline shows up for the first time in the DLC, in an area called the Research Hall: a massive medical science facility built inside a clocktower. Apparently, during the heyday of the Healing Church, this facility was used to try to discover a way to ascend humanity to godhood. It's full of patients who seem, at first, to be perfect examples of the "scary disabled person" trope. They shuffle, and twitch, and their heads are covered by cloth bags and seem to be swollen underneath, and they're aggressive...

...Well, not all of them are aggressive.

Scattered throughout the Research Hall are a number of patients who are non-aggressive, and many will even talk to you. One of the most memorable moments of the game for me was when I climbed down a ladder into a pitch-black room, fully expecting to be ambushed and killed near-instantly. Instead, I found myself surrounded by patients lying on cots, who weren't attacking, just... pleading.

Ahh, Lady Maria, Lady Maria. Please. Take my hand. Please. Help me... don't let me drown...

The portrayal of the Research Hall patients is not without its issues, but the reframing of the horror from what they look like to you, to what the experience is like to them, goes a long way. And no patient gets as much screentime and focus as Saint Adeline.

You find her just before opening up the shortcut back to the nearest checkpoint. Her room becomes a place of safety and respite. She's strapped to a chair, an IV needle in her arm, and rocks and twitches just like most of the other patients. But she seems to be the most lucid out of them, and is quite talkative. At first she thinks you're the Lady Maria many of the other patients seem to adore, but quickly realizes that you're someone else. She asks you for a favor, and if you help her out, she'll give you vials of her own more potent blood just like several other characters throughout the game.

Most importantly, Adeline is one of maybe... four? characters in the entire game who is never rude or cruel to you, never tries to kill you, and isn't manipulating you for her own ends. While she does ask a favor, there's no deception or coercion in it. She's gentle, and kind, and tries to help you however she can. The fact that this character who seems to fit so many of the ableist horror tropes is such a genuine, well-rounded, and kindhearted character means a lot to me.

Furthermore, there's some implication that the player isn't the only person who cared deeply about her. If you continue to help her, she says this:

Thank you, thank you so much. You have saved me. Take this charm. Lady Maria gave it to me, but it is all I can offer, other than my own blood. Please, do not abandon me... I promise to do good...

She then gives you a key, the description of which reads as follows:

Key to the balcony on the first floor of the Research Hall.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower gave this to the patient, Adeline. Maria had hoped Adeline would find comfort in the faint breeze that carried the scent of flowers from the outside, but Adeline couldn't fathom her intentions.

Lady Maria isn't just a caretaker. She's one of THE most important characters in the entire game, up there with Laurence and Gehrman in terms of influence on the plot and world. Her boss fight is among the most cinematic and heartbreaking I've ever seen (if you don't care about spoilers, here is probably my favorite playthrough of the fight, though it skips the cutscene at the beginning.) She's tragic, well-intentioned, memorable, dignified... and she cared about Adeline.

(Maybe even loved her. The key isn't the only evidence for that.)

The fact that this character, who has all these traits that would cause her to be a monster in most other horror out there, is kind, helpful, and loved means so much to me. I am so glad that Saint Adeline exists.